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HERE COMES HALF ASHED

The Far Toilet: I expected to finish it by my birthday of 2021. I failed. A lot has happened since then. I want to tell you about it. I would want to tell you about it anyway. But having blathered about what a wonderful novel it would be, and it will be, I feel a little tight lipped and loose fingered. But, what happened to Jesus after his barmitzva is small potatoes next to a hilarious tale of dealing with people of power and greed an author has to ask himself or herself – in my case a definite him because very few hers get a prostate biopsy – would not a hilarious tale about the availability of housing and homelessness in a pandemic world might be more fitting and apt.

The Far Toilet is scheduled to publish in Easter of ’22. Never mind the date. By that time either the pandemic, economic collapse, functional collapse or the events of Half ASHed will have been realized and I’ll be back in Spain celebrating a best seller, perhaps mine. That depends on me and perhaps you. Anyway, let’s trust you and I can leave Jesus to find his own way back home, hell he has twenty years and you and I will have laughed ourselves to death reading Half ASHed! The category for this post, will as you might expect, will be Half ASHed.

 

Be well, Be a well, Everyman Jack aka CanDo Jack

 

 

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5 days, 300 pages to go

THE FAR TOILET
is the unborn novel you are wondering about. Since when? Since I discussed with you that title and we talked about its existence. It was very clear the first time I connected it with a book. I had been using the term for a long time. So far I have managed to wash the title out of the story only to watch the tide bring it back in a roar I would have thought the Pacific Ocean was incapable of voicing. I mean how often does one get to hear the ocean do a baritone ‘harruhrump!’? and barf expectorantly, “you’re going to need this bucko.”

I have been unable to sit down and get lost in creating this tale. I have so many hurts going, some 24/7, that I feel like I have fibromialgia. I felt comfortable with a six week hiatus before my intended publishing date of June 13. Now I have five days; it looks impossible; to do in even six months.

Last night I gave way to fatigue before I even got clicking with the typing fingers. They only wanted to play the concert ukulele to NEVERTHELESS I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. i gave up and slumped over and let the rain and thunder sleep tape whisk me off to a warm hole in the snow somewhere on Copenhagen shore near the mermaid. I was at such an insurmountable turn in the line that i did what I usually do in crisis moments: hand the problem to the background mind.

This morning I was already headed to the urologist to tell him the risks involved in the biopsy they wanted to perform. And far more importantly the brain popped up with the solution and it was positively mind blowing and world shaking i scat you not.

You can just address me as Back On Track Jack.
be well,
CanDo Jack

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The Far Toilet

This is the first post in a new category. The category is the title of the novel this post is for. A pause to see if the system is with me. Sometimes it goes on a long break when I need it to help me promulgate, put out, pubelish something new.

What is important when you come to this site is to use:

httpS in the site URL, not http.

Look for the padlock in the upper corner. It is put there by the S that follows http. It means don’t worry, this site is secure.

Hello, I am CanDo Jack. If you do not know me I want to change that with the next sentence. Please loiter here all you want. The site has quite a bit of useful information in a number of areas. What  may look like tiny seagull turds of the top of each page is probably the list of pages and interests on the site. They should make since. Except this: one of the page options is IM4U. That page should have an ample description of all the products in the digital store part of the site. It will be worth your time whether or not you intend to purchase anything. 

IM4U is translated as “I am for you”. I mean just that. My goal always is to make the world better. My way of doing that is to try to inform, teach, amuse and  entertain you.

Oh, the book! I know the title is a little unusual and is not clear as to meaning but the meaning will be clear when you get finished with the book. Then I think you will grok it, rock it laugh yourself – and mine – silly. The time is the year zero AD. The initial location is the Sea of Galilee in Israel. The main character is Yeshu. The first woman you will meet is Mary. She is a  Magdalene because she is from a little town named Magdala. I say ‘woman’ because she is legally a woman by virtue of her gender and age. And she has been batmitzvahed. She is thirteen. So is Yeshu.

Yeshu is a carpenter. Well, now he is a boat builder, a result of his having been a carpenter when he started building boats. His father was a carpenter. Somehow Yeshu just took to building boats. Yes, he is precocious. They are both precocious.

And we’re off. I am excited. This is going to be one hell of a book. I hope you will occasionally check in here. I will be telling you interesting things about the book and all things related and some not related. All of it will interest you if you are looking for meaning. You can comment on the posts. Many of the posts will be sent as well to my facebooger page. So, options. Nuff Now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE FAR TOILET

This post is the first post my novel THE FAR TOILET
TFT will be published on this site on June 13, 2021.
More in a few minutes I have to get this post stuck and I will be right back

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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NINE ELEVENS, Just Sayin’

I was for the previous few minutes rereading previous posts on NINE ELEVENS. I encourage you to read them. Among other things reading them will encourage you to get the book. I am just discussing. I am not rodomontading.

One of the NINE ELEVENS posts would seem to suggest a sequel.
And that was a likely, welcome, thought. I had been thinking of sequesls before I got there. 

I have been thinking about sequels to FEARLESSNESS FOUND. As I came to the end of the novel, plots kept shooting pea shooter spit wads at me. Also and so, about the time I finished FEARLESSNESS FOUND I found Amitav Ghosh and found myself falling for his writing style, and the experiences he had that propelled him into developing that style.

Amitav says he is surprised that writers are not mobbing Mass Extinction Six with stories on climate change. As though we should be creating fiction like never before for we have a singular opportunity to describe our demise and enjoy reading about it simultaneously. I can only agree and nod my head cuz as Eugene Levy said in one of the Christopher Guest flicks, “I am already so way up in that.” 

And maybe Ghosh’s remarks as he says in THE GREAT DERANGEMENT,  have something to do with my seeing everyday more freedom in public, social, expression to actually talk about how will the people of the world fare as they slide down the bathospheric devolution even as they are losing their ability to breathe deeply enough to stave off the mental fatigue that not having enough air to breathe brings.

I somewhat imagine parallels to learning how to live with our own dying as the final step to utopia even as our number diminishes. And, well, today, quotes from Ghandi have been flitting through my brain. For example:

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

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HOW TO READ MY BOOKS

I write books (and other digital products). I create sound and music albums and software products. They all  carry a boilerplate such as the one that will appear below. They identify the products. They describe the products and the authors. They contain use instructions and use information. They briefly explain information relative to intellectual property. They explain what copyright has to do with what you can do with a product you buy from me and they explain what you cannot do.

The boilerplate info adheres to the standard book publishing format and content guidelines. Any product you buy from candojack.com will contain pretty much this same boilerplate

In addition and before that standard boilerplate info I need to tell you about the product container(s) and some choices you have about how to use the product.

You will think I am crazy but the file extension that distinguishes the format of the text in the product is .txt – that is correct. It is a simple text file. You are thinking, “how does he prevent theft, particularly in the copying and highjacking of entire books?” The answer is that several security features are incorporated in each book that allow me to find the criminals and bring them to justice.

No, I do not have any special designated software to use to read the books with. I have the following suggestions. I write using Open Office. It is an open source software and has dedicated people who have developed and maintain it. The same group, Source Forge, has a marvelous little reader program called Cool Reader which runs on mobile, laptop, and tablet. It will read aloud to you. Automatic scroll can be set so you can read an entire book without touching any controls. It also source (free) software.

Here is sample  Front Matter from the novel FEARLESSNESS FOUND.

FRONT MATTER

A NOVEL

FEARLESSNESS
FOUND

BY

CanDo Jack

COPYRIGHT PAGE

COPYRIGHT © 2019 by CanDo Jack
All rights reserved. This book or any portion
thereof may not be reproduced or used
in any manner whatsoever except as follows:
1. You receive this book as a simple text file.
Your initial thought is that it is a simple text file because I am too lazy, or unskilled in technical know how or simply want to make the book easy to steal, abuse, copy, reproduce, or otherwise treat it criminally or unkindly. No, we have taken other measures equal or greater than equal to the most secure PDF file, security wise as explained elsewhere.
2. The MEDIUM of the book is a simple text file because I wrote this book with you, the reader, in mind. Not that I wanted to make it difficult to read but to make it far easier to read. For example you can use any software tool you want to read this book. In that way you can read the book on YOUR tablet, or YOUR PC, or YOUR laptop, or YOUR phone, or YOUR TV screen. I wanted and I want you to be able to read with a combination of the following features that make reading fiction most suitable for you:
background color, text color, text size, text bold or light, scrolling set to YOUR reading speed.
A lengthy examination of this subject can be found on the site where YOU bought the book, well, or where someone who loves you bought the book. Also, I suggest several reader tools.
GO TO HTTPS://WWW.CANDOJACK.COM
Find a post called: HOW TO READ MY BOOKS
3. You may not copy this book. You may move it as necessary to store or read it. Decide where you want to read it. Put it there. Leave it there. You know the difference between ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’.
4. I trust you appreciate my thinking enough of you and thinking of you enough to extend the ostensibly wide opening for you to violate legal and moral protocol trusting you will not. Nevertheless, let me be honest. I never trusted the word trust much.
1. The book has something like “water mark” identifiers that distinguish each copy sold.
2. I have written software that works 24/7 to search for copies of the book searching for those identifiers and matching them to the identifiers related to the “sales slip”.
3. It ain’t perfect but it will slow the train.

FIRST PRINTING (FIRST SOLD): JANUARY 2019.

ISBN-13: 978-1-893359-02-4

TABLE OF CONTENTS PAGE

The table of contents is a list of chapter headings. If your reading tool is a simple but supposedly
“apt to all possibilities” reader then you could click on chapter headings to go to selected chapters. But you could not do that because the book is a text file. Not to worry. Ensure your reader tool has a FIND option. Before you click on the ‘find’ option, highlight the chapter heading including the two asterisks and the word ‘Chapter’. Then click on the find option to go to the desired and selected chapter.

Observe you can also use the find option to locate any other word or word sequence(s) in the book.

CONTENTS
**Chapter 1 – Cayucos
**Chapter 2 – Rachel Did It Her Way
**Chapter 3 – Monte Baldo
**Chapter 4 – Val Gardena(Groedner Tal)
**Chapter 5 – Joseph the Ultimate Pilot Exam
**Chapter 6 – Helmut and Flip
**Chapter 7 – MoM Day
**Chapter 8 – The Whole Truth and …
**Chapter 9 – Doppel Dick Dom
**Chapter 10 – Englischer Gardens
**Chapter 11 – Unterberghorn
**Chapter 12 – The Aero Dynamic Duo
**Chapter 13 – Sweep (First Person Voice)
**Chapter 14 – Conventional Solutions
**Chapter 15 – Not the Problem
**Chapter 16 – Reality and Realities
**Chapter 17 – Heavy Metal Flying Carpet
**Chapter 18 – Canning (Return to Third Person)

INTRODUCTION AND PROLOGUE

INTRODUCTION

A mother and daughter inventor team and foremost world paraglider pilots find the absence of fear ONE: to be dependent on the realization that the probability of after life is near zero and TWO: death to be a right of passage to Nothingness. But these realizations commandeer them and their team for a mission of the greatest importance related to Fearlessness and Nothingness.

PROLOGUE

I have convinced myself to deviate from the norm here. This IS the prologue section of the front matter of this novel. I am a deviate relative to norms primarily because most norms need deviation. My deviation is that this prologue, yes, is a prologue but, in a way, it is also not a prologue. A lot of material about this book is found on my web site and that should provide as much prologue as a novel needs. Most novels do not include a prologue. This one does and the previous sentence was essentially it.

But maybe you don’t want to go back to the web site where you had to have bought the book because the book is only sold through the web site. And in case you don’t I really need to tell you that this novel is only part of the whole picture.

This novel is the final vertex of a trilogy triangle.
The purpose of the trilogy is lay down a plan of self improvement that excels and exceeds. I think it excels over other self improvement approaches because it has another reason for being: literature. The trilogy comprises the nonfiction book PSYCHO PATHS AND CON TRAILS and the novel NINE ELEVENS (nothing to do with the event you are now thinking of except that the date has a trail. A trail of exceptionally notable events). I have taken the liberty of having the novel begin on 09/11/0911 the fictional beginning of that nonfictional trail. The third vertex of the triangle is this novel FEARLESSNESS FOUND. So the three angles are (in corresponding order to the three books I mentioned above:
1. DISCOVERY. (Raze the building site of the new you.) You discover yourself and make way for rebuilding yourself by clearing the building site. Quite a process. Ruminate, ruminate, ruminate. Find and mull over all the useless and destructive paradigms you are burdened with and shift them into constructive paradigms or discard them.
2. REASON. You will need to start the reasoning before you finish discovery obviously. In NINE ELEVENS two young explorers find their way from the advanced civilization of Maya back to Europe, specifically the other advanced civilization in the world: al Andalus. Al Andaluz is Andalusia. It is Moorish Spain. There the original Andalusian Christians, the original Andalusian jews and the Arab invaders and conquerors, three peoples live in perfect harmony. Our two young explorer missionaries have a mission of preaching the gospel … of REASON.
3. FEARLESSNESS is found by discarding the useless mask of hope and seeing the POWER IN the NOW life of betting no fear is necessary to apply to worrying about after life.

Regardless of what I want to be a valuable and enjoyable reading experience for you the trilogy aspect of things is something I want for you. We are in the middle of MASS EXTINCTION SIX. Things are going to get nasty. So many reasons exist for so many scientists, philosophers, futurists, and others of many ilks to agree that humanity is in the demise zone. After what should be way more than enough time puzzling over it all I am convinced that for many humans the remainder of sillyvization’s existence can be a time of Utopia, humans reaching the zenith of existence, being more than all they can be in a time of incredible peril. So maybe in addition to enjoying what I think is an incredible tale I want to be of assistance too in honing the blade of your scimitar for the onus is onyou.

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CUT AND RUN – SHUCK IT AND LET GO

Diane Ackerman knows more unusual life forms than most of us know people. She is an analyst of really stranger things. She has a tremendous respect for life. But, if life and death are a coin then they have to be the same size. She captures that ability to cut and run with agility and alacrity. A “just do it” acceptance and adventure of digging in and letting go. This link however will take you to her reading of four of her poems. The one we are interested in here is WE DIE. Diane Ackerman WE DIE

Her TED talks will lead you to her books. Someone sent me a FaceBooger share that advises, “Use the last week of the year to determine what no longer feeds your soul and let it go.” I like that. It captures the thrill of the cut and run mood and its depeche mode if you will. I replied. “And of course you recall our admonishment to use the previous week to devise and utilize exercises that inculcate a natural “let it go” protocol so when you are ready to decide you are ready to let go. Because you have done your ‘let go’ training.”

Diane Ackerman has done a lot of valuable work. But, extending the thinking of the phrase “but given something like death, what does it matter if one looks foolish” the only reason it WOULD matter is that we are fed a tremendous volume of social engineering caca that tells us death is not the end and robs us of the
1) joy of anticipation of nothingness by converting it to a “bad” word,
2) abolishment of worry over relationships when relations are broken by the void,
3) the joy of living our lives freely and unencumbered by factors related to the cessation of life, and
4) the joyful option of termination at the moment we wish. When the fear of stuff related to death is removed we are gods and we are all powerful and do and accomplish things we would never try with the fear monkey on our backs. Does anyone know anyone who practices that freedom birthing process and meditates along those lines? No, of course not. We have been conditioned, engineered to find that line of thinking absurd in a country where >90% of the humans believe in god. This whole discussion is the most important in life and provides the answer to the question, “forgetting the 90 percent, let’s fret about the 100% suffering from the greed epidemic.

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ME THANE = WE DEAD

ONE, TWO PUNCH, AND A LITTLE MENTIONED KNOCKOUT PUNCH

[It is true. The ‘thane’ in the word methane just happens to do with death. Soooooo, one COULD say that ‘methane’ means ‘my death’ or ‘I’m dead’.]

Devolution of oxygen production and the blossoming of megamethane will leave us gasping for oxygen and finding too little to make life viable. Errrrrrr – not in 2050 but more like before 2030.

The oceans are dying rapidly. What’s the word for really, really, rapidly? We are dealing already with greater than 400ppm of carbon in the air. Remember when we thought 350 was the upper limit. Seems an eternity ago when environmentalist Bill McKibben started 350.org.

Then we find that animal livestock produce enough methane to push any carbon threat over the tilt point.

Then we find that govcorp’s destruction of the polar sea ice enables the surfacing of previously frozen methane which will further limit the amount of oxygen our air can contain. Imagine the permafrost in Russia and Canada. Those two permafrost freezers are protecting enough permafrost to have long been the freezer for deadly methane

No one knows, few can estimate, the volume of methane being exposed to the air. We only know that as polar regions thaw the volume increases.

AT THIS POINT I MENTION A FACTOR THAT GETS NO ATTENTION. Almost every dwelling in the world’s temperate zone and above is heated by natural gas.

Natural gas is composed mostly of methane. Methane is a fossil fuel many times more powerful than carbon dioxide.

Today, natural gas is delivered to more than 175 million American consumers through a 1.3 million mile network of underground pipe. A total of 285,000 producing natural gas wells, 125 natural gas pipeline companies, and more than 1,200 gas distribution companies provide gas service in all 50 states. As seas rise much quicker than experts can estimate, those gas lines go underwater and shutting them off will be more difficult. As tsunamis and earth quakes get stronger capping all wells could be an impossible task. So, we can expect, can’t we, a growing methane problem from three directions: 1) livestock, 2) thawing tundra, 3) “natural” gas wells.

Source link

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TRAPPED IN ROOM OR AUGGIE

“Having his verses misunderstood, Touchstone jests in Shakespeare’s As You Like It, “strikes a man more dead than a great reckoning in a little room”. That’s what I wanted Room to be, a great reckoning in a little room. A story of childlike simplicity that would pose the big questions. An existential drama played out in the most confined and pedestrian of settings.”
–Emma Donoghue
 
Jacob Tremblay could probably compare his acting career to the life of his character, Jack, in ROOM. In ROOM Jacob’s character, Jack, is trapped inside a five year old human boy whose only knowledge of the world is the room he and his mom live in. He has never been outside it.
 
In WONDER Jacob the actor is trapped inside a grade school kid named Auggie and Auggie is trapped inside a scarfaced kid who on sight repulses everyone.
 
For a young actor the job of limiting his character’s world must be really difficult. … … It is OK with me if you want to pause here and think about that for a minute or a thousand. But, though my hat’s off to both women. That’s correct R.J.Palacio is Raquel Jaramilo Palacio wote WONDER. Emma Donoghue is the writer of ROOM.
 
Most of the time I don’t think about gender. I’m not too old to remember but I am old enough that small life shit like wiles on the way to the bedroom are a tad too juvenile for me to frolic in. But, the idea of a woman writing a book like WONDER is almost a sine qua non. Can you think of a male writer whom you would suspect of being the author of a novel like WONDER? #%^&!MeToo.
 
But enough about what I think or do not. The link below is to what author Emma Donoghue thinks.
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CURSERY RHYMES

I hope you grok the title of this post. But, fact is this. I do not know anyone who would get it completely. So let me step through it. And, I ask for your patience and attention here. This is a special post. It discusses the reason for existence of the audio album by the header name above.

CURSERY rhymes with nursery. Each of the songs on this album has at its base the melody from a nursery rhyme familiar to almost anyone who was once a child. But, too, cursery is used as an adjective to say each particular song’s lyrics deal with a certain thing being cursed.

For example MARY HAD A LITTLE CLOUD curses those evil elements of unnatural military activities that would steal Mary’s little white lambs, I mean clouds, and replace them with poisonous clouds.

So the goal is a series of songs each of which extends an FU to those forces whose efforts result in the chessboard skywriting of geoengineering which has come to be known as chemtrails. Whether hard evidence is at hand to prove all that people believe who are bothered by chemtrails shoud not deter those who are fence sitters or are firmly convinced that geoengineering is doing its best to cover up the perceived destruction of our natural weather systems with incredible technology that is smarter than its users.

I am saying anyone should be able to enjoy the album’s music, its play on associated nursery rhyme stories seeing the humor  in a governmental system which is believed by many to be a probable cause for the destruction of natural weather systems and thus perhaps the demise of sillyvisation. I, the creator of this album suggests that whether evidence exists to prove the national or international government’s culpability in crimes against humanity or not, still, external considerations are damning. Those considerations are these:
1. Highly suspect is geoengineering is treated in the UN’s IPCC as a someday maybe thing, while it real existence over the last 20 years is evident to anyone who looks up from almost anywhere in the world;
2. Evidence of death and sickness on Earth to flora and fauna (including humans) is obvious to anyone who has studied chemical samples of chemtrail residue in humans, other animals as well as trees and other plants that is identical to what is sprayed on the world;
3. Anything as vast as the geoengineering spraying on the entire world is a big business, a vast secret business similar to other big government businesses like drug wars and why does the public not have access to the profit and loss statements of such big business. Where are the check stubs?

So, no matter. Enjoy the sound. Enjoy the lyrical twist on nursery rhymes from your childhood and probably played a lot better and differently. Maybe you have kids who can enjoy CURSERY RHYMES with you. They might be even more educational than the noneducational patter of the original songs. They might help you to explain to your kids the world they live today.

For a complete discussion of each of the songs on the album click here

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ON MY WAY HERE

On the way to writing my one nonfiction book,
Psycho Paths and Con Trails
and two novels:
1) Nine Elevens,
2) Fearlessness Found
I invested several years and a life time in
research:
1) one year studying mormonism,
2) one plus years studying Maya,
3) a year studying antisocial behavior
(narcissism, psychopathy),
4) one year studying paradigms and paradigm
shift in humans
5) one year studying al Andalus, and
6) one life time studying human beings.

What I did NOT KNOW while I was researching and
applying that research to writing those three
books was this:
I was creating with that trilogy a three step
program for humans to use to navigate Mass
Extinction 6, the most horrible demise to occur
in all six global extinctions.

Here is a mnemonic device to keep humanity’s
demise fixed in mind. The first extinction, The
Devonian, shared something with the current
demise: CAUSE: extinction of oxygen.

Humans know the cause of the first extinction
because humans know how to exercise intelligence
because paradoxically while humans were
destroying everything around us we learned how
to grow intelligence. Then humans got so
intelligent they destroyed – are destroying –
themselves with the same method nature used to
destroy 75% of all life in ME One.

Mnemonic device? Yes, Mass Extinction One began
375 million years ago. Think of 375 as ppm of
carbon in the air you breath. 375 ppm equals
almost 400ppm carbon and 400ppm is the danger
point established and we have exceeded it. So
you could think if it were 375ppm things would
be getting better, carbon wise. But, IT AIN’T.